"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."
— Dr. Seuss (Oh, the Places You'll Go!)
One week until the biggest test in my life, and my head is distracted and filled with some pretty pesky thoughts that feel like they are constantly clawing at the inside of my skull trying to be blurted out. Deep breaths will get me through the next 8 days, and I will be finished with academia forever, although I can't deny that I'll probably take many more classes for many more interesting hobbies, none of which entail taking a two-day long, sixteen hour exam. Improv, music, writing, art, volleyball, boxing, aaah the options!
The bar will be the very tip of my Everest-like year, climbing much more uphill than I deserved. My heart burst into pieces so small they were as fine as sand. The past will be the past and I will climb down stronger, happier and more filled with love- leaving those behind who see what they want to see and still don't get it, hopefully releasing a careless trail of resentment and anger behind me, in case I ever need to follow that path back to my lessons learned.
Ultimate happiness is on the tip of my tongue- I have learned what is good in my life and the scales are no longer balanced but have found equilibrium in a different, gravity defying way. One more week and I start a new journey. First, travels to Mexico. Then, beginning work. Then finding the (next) heart-mangling love of my life and traveling to Paris, Australia, Nepal, Thailand and Hong Kong... Oh the places we'll go! Making money, settling down without wasting away. Enjoying expensive, palate pleasing foods and wines with hundreds of fruity layers. Last minute getaways and weekends listening to the rain in bed. Stares from across the room. Days without talking and fireworks when love is affirmed upon reuniting. Giving and giving and giving. I am blessed with amazing friends and family, one day soon hopefully some kids, and someone above is definitely watching me. I owe society a-lot more than I have given so far, and the more my future brings the more I will owe.
Here's to the home stretch (and for not having to do it over again)... If you look for me after the bar, I will likely be at the other kind of bar in an intoxicated dreamy haze through April.
For a smile on your face read this article about one of my favorite shows, The Office. It makes so much sense to me, and I think I'm more like Michael Scott than I dare to admit!
Click HERE
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