Dear readers,

This holiday season has certainly been busy! My final finals are approaching later this week, and by Thursday I will be finished with Law School (assuming I pass...) after three quick years!

Thanksgiving also came and went, with a fun family dinner at Rosebud, where I got to sit next to Kristin Wiig and take a picture with her!!! Friends from around the country gathered at my lovely new apartment to reminisce about old times and indulge in our new experiences. The evening ended with a great conversation that lasted until the sun came up with my friend, where we compared his recent battles with love to mine, both grappling with the thought of forgiveness.

This friend has been through a lot in his life, and next to him I have experienced relatively little. However when it comes to love, we were certainly on the same page. Though we ended up here in different ways, we are both ready to devote ourselves completely to another person in a way that most people our age have not yet even tapped into. At 25, he spoke about wanting to find his "Mrs.", have some babies, and let his friends catch up to him whenever they were ready. It was the first time I spoke with a man my age who felt the same way that I did, understanding what it meant to measure friends by quality and not quantity, set priorities by loyalties and courage rather than by self-indulegence, and find the love of our lives instead of just a life that we loved.

We discussed our romantic pasts and I found it interesting that after two years his wound was still open, but that he was ready to forgive. Perhaps time helped him forget why they are no longer together, perhaps he has seen that he can't find someone better, perhaps he is lonely and settling, and perhaps she is truly the love of his life. Whatever the reason, his ability to forgive is admirable.

This weekend I attended an untraditional Bat-Mitzvah of a remarkable girl. The Temple it was held at was the only Temple in Illinois that used sign language for every part of the service. The young woman did such a graceful job, as she learned her Torah portion in not one, not two, but three languages: English, Hebrew, and Sign Language. Her hands danced in fluid movements as her voice recited important lessons about forgiveness. As I listened to her read and discuss her Torah portion I thought of my friend and our conversation.

The portion spoke about forgiveness. Joseph (the one with the Amazing Techni-colored Dream Coat), was the favorite of his father's sons. Fueled by jealousy, his 11 brothers took Joseph and left him for dead in a cave. As a result, Joseph was found, sold into slavery, and went to jail. His siblings, those he loved and trusted most in the world, stabbed him in the back. But after several years when they were reunited and Joseph became a prominent figure in Egypt, Joseph forgave them without second thought.

Betrayal is an ugly thing, especially when it comes from someone you love. A friend, sibling, lover, spouse, teammate, coworker, etc. might stab you in the back and leave you just as Joseph's brothers left him. But the lesson we learn is that we are supposed to forgive. In Christianity, forgiveness in the eyes of G-d occurs when someone is remorseful, but no literal apology must be made. On the other hand, Judaism teaches that an apology must be made to those who are wronged before forgiveness can occur. While those wronged might not accept an apology, G-d will, as he is also able to tell whether or not it is sincere.

My friend and I are nowhere near Joseph in terms of righteousness, but I was impressed that he was able to forgive even when he felt betrayed. When thinking about myself I saw that I don't make myself vulnerable to be betrayed by most people. I let a few people in that closely and trust that they would not hurt me. For the most part, I am a good judge of character, so this has been successful and I am a better person for it. I believe it also makes me more loyal, and I strive to earn trust from others because I know how important it is for me. A question I often think about is whether it is harder to apologize or to forgive, and I think if both are done whole-heartedly they are equally difficult and admirable.

This weekend was my 25th birthday and I was happy to welcome a fresh, new year. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, and I am a testament to that. After all, if you are not strong, you must be, well, weak... and who can get through life like that? This year I will continue to grow and learn and be tested. This year I also know what I look for in others who I want to accompany me in my life more clearly than before. Though a snow storm prevented some good friends from joining me, I had a great dinner with those closest to me. Some people walked in and were impressed with the amount of people who showed up, for others it seemed a small group. For me, like Goldy-locks, it was just right, as I spent a great evening with those I am glad to be surrounded by.