BABY It's Cold Outside!!!!

UPDATE: Sienna Marin Saddler Schellinger :) was born at 2:15am on Nov. 14, 2010. 6 pounds 10 ounces of sheer perfection!!!

My best friend is currently in labor with her first child!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She is having a baby girl, who will be as thin as a noodle, as smart as a child of two Stanford grads would be, and as beautiful and exotic as Cleopatra. This is going to be one rock star baby. Can you sense my excitement!!??

This baby gets to start from scratch. A new, big and beautiful world is her Oyster. She is entering into the most loving universe a child can have, and I know she will be provided with only the best kinds of support and affection a child could ever need. I am so proud of my friend and her husband, as I could not imagine a more fit couple to supply me with my new favorite toy, and she could not have come at a more appropriate time:

My favorite time of year has officially begun! Yesterday at noon 93.9 WLIT started their month-long holiday music season, playing nothing but inspiring, joyful Christmas music on the radio 24 glorious hours a day, 7 beaming days a week. Upon hearing this music, which can make some people's skin crawl, makes every part of my being feel joyful and lighthearted.

Now, you may be wondering, why is this Jewish girl so obsessed with Christmas? I can tell you where it all began: I was born in Israel, and when my family moved to the US in October of 1989 it was the first time I saw snow. Before I even uttered my first English word I was immediately enrolled in Montessori, a nondenominational school. After a few short weeks the holidays came, and bright eyed and enthusiastic I came home, wrapped my tiny hands around my dad's neck and exclaimed, "Daddy! Daddy! Santa Clause knows my name!!!!!"

Needless to say my parents pulled me out and enrolled me at the Beth Shalom preschool the next day, but it was too late, the Christmas Spirit crept into my Soul and hasn't left since. Clearly it is not the religious aspect of Christmas that I love so much. In large part, it's an indication that Hanukah is quickly approaching and my mom's potato pancakes will soon be sizzling on the stove. That we will light the candles together as a family for eight nights in a row. It means that my birthday is quickly approaching, and that along with New Years I will be able to reflect on the past year and have one more year of wisdom behind me. But most of all, it's the joy, the spirit of giving, the warm smiles everyone bundles under their winter scarfs and hats, the uplifting music and the sparkling lights that make me count down to the day Starbucks starts using it's red cups every year.

Most importantly, it arouses some sort of spiritual connection with my best friends from High School. They live all over the map and have mostly moved away to achieve their dreams, but this time of year never fails to bring us back together. I am one of those rare people that would never want to revisit my college years but would relive high school in a millisecond. Overshadowing the bullying, the mean girls and the broken hearts was my life as a "Theatre Kid," or a "PAL" as my jerk English teacher called us (Performing Arts Loser). I don't care if you were the valedictorian or a 12 sport athlete, being a PAL enriched my life in an unspeakable way I doubt most people can understand. On the surface, I stayed away from the wrong crowds, avoided trouble, got direction through a healthy hobby, and was guided by the most caring and able of mentors. But it goes much deeper than that. It created lifelong bonds, it taught me about human interaction, about caring about others and about being comfortable with myself.

If any of you watch Glee, that is a pretty accurate description of life as a GBN PAL. We got to school at 7:45am and didn't leave until 9 or 10pm, leaving a few hours for homework, sleep, and hopefully a shower. Comedy Troupe, Choir, Show Choir, Theatre, Vocal Lessons, Musicals and lots more activities kept us busy and gave us direction. I played Tennis my freshman year, and I didn't get nearly as much out of that as I did through the performing arts department. But it was the holidays that made the countless hours of hard work worth it. We went everywhere from preschools to country clubs to nursing homes to spread holiday cheer and puts smiles on faces that needed them. We sang "Silent Night" to a woman who was taking her last breaths in the hospital, and sang "Joy to the World" to tables of loving young families. I have repaired houses wrecked from hurricane Katrina in New Orleans, been a counselor at a camp for children with cancer, and visited with HIV infected orphans in South Africa, yet something about singing holiday music brought me just as much or more fulfillment than many things I have done in my life. I needed it just as much as they did, and the reciprocity we shared connected me with my friends and our audiences.

One time we sang at an overcrowded home for adults with mental disabilities. The home was more like a dirty, smelly warehouse in disarray, with one staff person to every 15 or 20 residents. But when we got there you could never tell. They were so excited for us to sing and the joy on their faces was priceless. As we were wrapping up and singing our grand finale, "White Christmas," a very big and tall resident who made consistent eye contact with me throughout the concert sprang into a leap, pulled up his sweatpants and darted at me faster than I could scream "ELF!" He grabbed my leg, tore off my shoe, and started massaging my foot, my calf, my thigh and... well, you get it. I literally fell back onto my friends behind me and to my sides. An experience that could have been quite traumatic only left me with assurance that I was supported by my friends not just physically but emotionally as well. Turns out the guy had a foot fetish and was too big for his small caretaker to restrain. But no worries, the show must go on, and it did as we caroled to our usual exit.

Every year since graduating from high school my friends and I have gotten back together for some song and sentiment. I don't speak to some of them the entire year, and when December rolls around it's as though things have not changed. We have all moved on with our lives and gone to the moon and back for our aspirations, and have all been successful in our own special ways. I am so proud of them and am counting the days to get the gang back together again.

In the mean time, I am eagerly awaiting my new baby-friend to be delivered. Another healthy and happy life entering this world only to make it a better place, particularly around Christmas time.

No Excuses!

I was hoping that my next post would be more lighthearted, since many good things are going on in my life. I am mostly excited for my best friends from high school to come in for our annual Thanksgiving choir-song-fest, and I am anxiously awaiting "The Most Wonderful Time of Year:" Christmas/Hanukah/My Birthday to finally arrive. Instead, I had to share an interaction that occurred this morning:

Today (11.11, make a wish!) I officially encountered without a doubt the most tactful and mature adult interaction of my life. In my 24 years of learning how to play successfully with the rest of mankind, I have tried to avoid the petty drama that follows around most girls. I have generally been pretty successful at it. I stay out of the way of those who don't understand me or that I don't understand, and have fierce loyalty towards those I care deeply about. As Dr. Seuss wisely stated, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

I received an e-mail from a good friend of mine this morning. It was short, to the point, and honest. I did something to hurt her feelings and she immediately sent me an e-mail telling me what I did that hurt her, and why it hurt her. Upon receiving the e-mail I felt the terrible pang of guilt you get when you known you did something wrong. I had about 50 excuses and reasons for doing what I did floating on my head, but her feelings were valid, and any excuse would be my way of invalidating those feelings. More importantly, I appreciated the way she approached me directly and immediately. Not a single person in my life has ever approached me in this sort of manner. I would like to think that I don't do many things that would warrant such an interaction, but even if I do, how could I know unless I am told?

Tuesday I went to a class that discussed ways to maintain a successful relationship, and what to do when someone is hurt. My friend acted in the exact manner that Judaism dictates in order for our relationship to be healthy, happy, and continuous. If someone does or says something that hurts, bearing a grudge is poisonous. Instead, telling that person, while it may be hard to make the initial confrontation, certainly pays off in the end. There have been a few times where I have tried to be as tactful as my friend, but it is a two way street. The person confronted must be as thoughtful as the confronter, leaving any excuses out of the picture, because feelings are feelings.

My friend talked about her own feelings instead of attacking what I did. It was not offensive, and I decided not to act defensively. I called her within minutes of receiving her e-mail, and we talked it through. I told her that she was right, that I had no excuse, and I apologized. It was painful to hear that I hurt my friend, but I can not express the appreciation I have for her that she approached me in the way she did. At the end of the conversation she told me that she does not hold grudges. I have been told this many times before, but this was the first time I believed it.

Few lessons in life stick forever, but I know this one will. Instead of creating an uneasy rift in our relationship, she can be confident that I will never again do what I did. Our loyalty will remain and our friendship will bloom for years to come, all because of something that lasted no more than five minutes.

Chug-a-Chug-a-Change-Chaaaaange!

UPDATE: NOV. 17, 2010 I am pleased to inform you, friends, that my train has found its tracks and that Sally is officially back in business :). I missed you all!


Change is Gooood
Change is Goood
Change is Good
Chang is Goo
Chng is Goo
Chn i Gh
Chu e Gho
Chug a Cho
Chug a Choo
Chug a Chooo
Chug a Choooo
CHUG A CHOOO CHOOOO!!!!!

Did you see what I did there?
I jumped on a train.
The change train.

One of my favorite songs, "People Get Ready," talks about change, and makes it seem easy to take a leap of faith, hop on, and go where it leads:

"People get ready
There's a train a-coming
You don't need no baggage
You just get on board
All you need is faith
To hear the diesel's humming
Don't need no ticket
You just thank the Lord"


So... I'm on this train... I don't have a ticket (the train came way earlier than expected...) and I don't have any baggage (literally, all of my stuff is in storage right now...). The one problem is, I think I left my faith back at the station? I just got on board, because the train came, and I had no other choice.

So... I'm on this train... and it is admittedly terrifying because I have no idea where it is going. For the last three years I have been at the same school, lived at the same place, dated the same guy, and used the Blue Line. My graduation date from school is January 16, and on that day each and every one of those things will have been peeled off of my warm and comfy cocoon, leaving what I can only hope will be a... butterfly?

So... I'm on this train... and through the glass I look and see myself standing at the station getting smaller and smaller in the distance. Sadly, when I pull my face away to try to find my reflection in the window, it's foggy and I can't make out an image of the Sally I have recognized for 24 years. Where was I in all of this change? I feel like I was unwillingly pushed on to the train, and that now I have no choice but to go forward, but I'm still trying to figure out what forward is?

Mahatma Gandhi said “We must become the change we want to see.” I suppose I'll have to patiently sit on the seat on this train on these tracks on the path to... somewhere. And I'll sit here until i figure out what kind of change I want to see. Up until the moment the train unexpectedly arrived, there was nothing in my life that I would have changed, and now I don't have a choice. So I'll try to hold on to that faith, and hopefully, before I know it, I'll be able to thank the lord.

Count Down to Harry Potter!

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” - Albus Dumbledore

Halloween marked two years since my beloved grandfather passed away. Yes, on Halloween. The year it happened was quite a mess and only a few people knew about it. I had a party with about 50 people at my apartment that night, found out he passed away earlier that day while trying to prepare, and had a ticket to fly to Israel the next morning for the funeral. God works in funny ways. I think the party helped me take my mind off of the fact that I had lost my last living grandparent that day.

One of my favorite memories of him was the last time he visited the States in 1998. He and my grandmother flew 13 hours from Israel to celebrate my sister's wedding and my Bat Mitzvah. Can you imagine the stress of my mother planning both, while taking care of my grandparents?! Not many women could handle that, yet she did with her usual grace and humility.

He was one of the smartest men I have ever known, with the most contagious belly laugh imaginable- certainly my father's father. Constantly asking me multiplication questions, traveling the world for business, swimming in the Mediterranean every morning, and fluent in at least five languages. At that point only the first Harry Potter- Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, was published. I have this vivid memory (stored in my pensive ;) ) of coming downstairs in the morning only to see my grandfather, a wrinkled man of 85 at the time, bright eyed and anxious to flip to the next chapter of the wizarding world of Harry Potter. He read the book, in a language fourth or fifth from his native, in three days. He was just as fascinated by J.K Rowling's imagination, imagery and ideas as I was, 60 years his junior. I will go ahead and venture to guess that if you don't like Harry Potter, your imagination is not of the whimsical kind, and you are definitely not a Sagittarius.

As part one of the 7th installment comes out next week, I thought I'd write this post for him. He would have loved to continue reading the tales and watching the movies as much as my father and I do. I was in high school when the first two films came out. I went with my dad, Thursday night at midnight, along with all of the other witches and wizards who dressed up for the movie. I missed school the next morning, but the time spent with my dad was priceless. For the following two films, I drove home from college to once again view the Thursday midnight showing with my dad. For numbers five and six, you guessed it, two adults, waiting in a two hour line, to go see the fantastic adventures of Ron, Hermione and Harry.

What is it about Harry Potter that we love so much? Aside from the remarkable imagination of the story itself, Harry Potter sends out a powerful message. I stumbled across a blog that listed the most prevalent themes in Harry Potter:

1.Love is the most powerful force in the world
2.Objective morality (there is good, there is evil)
3.There is a battle between good and evil
4. We must choose a side
5.We should choose the good
Click here to see the blog.

For a children's book, this wisdom is invaluable to any age. Love is certainly the most powerful force in the world. When we lose someone, the pain is unspeakable. It is not only emotional but also physical. For true love, no obstacle is too great to overcome. If I have learned one thing about love, it is that it is unconditional. And when there are conditions, it is simply not true love. My father told me a long time ago, that when you really love someone, you even love the things you don't like. There is no such thing as "I love you, BUT..."

In Harry's case, it is the love his parents had for him that kept him alive when Voldemort wanted to kill him. It is the love he has for his friends and family that helps him defy the Death Eaters time after time. I can not think of a couple with a love more powerful than my parents. Affection, Attention, Appreciation, Affirmation, Adoration, Affinity... the list goes on, from A-Z. Every couple has their qualms, problems and annoying tendencies. Harry and I have learned together that love is certainly hard work. Yet Harry, who could have succumbed to Voldemort and the temptation of taking the easy way out, personifies unconditional love.

I am looking forward to the second to last midnight premier of Harry Potter that I will see with my dad. While there are hundreds of other midnight premiers we will attend, the last Harry Potter will close a chapter that has lasted almost 13 years, but my memories with my father, and my father's father, will be as strong as Harry's scar.



Other Harry Potter quotes I keep close:

After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure. ~Albus Dumbledore

Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain. ~Arthur Weasley

It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. ~Albus Dumbledore

If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. ~Sirius Black

Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. ~Albus Dumbledore

You place too much importance... on the so-called purity of blood! You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be! ~ Albus Dumbledore

Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open. ~Albus Dumbledore

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. ~Albus Dumbledore

It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. ~Albus Dumbledore

The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with caution. ~Albus Dumbledore

Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here! ~Albus Dumbledore

The best of us must sometimes eat our words. ~Albus Dumbledore

If you're holding out for universal popularity, I'm afraid you will be in this cabin for a very long time. ~Albus Dumbledore

Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy. ~Albus Dumbledore

What's comin' will come and we'll meet it when it does. ~Hagrid

Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike. ~Albus Dumbledore

People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right. ~Albus Dumbledore